Normal is never coming back…

We sit and listen to the Global Alert News Hour every Saturday or, as Dane Wiginton refers to it, “The Bad News Broadcast”. He covers news headlines from the week – everything from COVID-19 to geoengineering, environmental collapse, and various other news topics. One of Dane’s weekly quotes is, “If you think the former paradigm is coming back, think again.” He’s right. With every passing day, life moves further and further in the wrong direction.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It’s easy to look to the past and think about seemingly happier times, especially if the present is unpleasant, but the sad truth is that past likely wasn’t as we perceived it to be. Regardless, we have to focus on what we have and what we can control rather than what we hope for and wish to be true. There are so many moments I would love to revisit… On bad days, I sometimes find it hard to think about those times or look at the pictures on my capturing those moments but, most of the time, I am so grateful to have those memories and to have lived those experiences. Times with friends and family, with Husband, and with our kitties. Travels to NYC and back to Chicago, road trips for weeks at a time, and shorter trips to state parks. Sunrises, sunsets, beautiful landscapes, and adventures… We seized those moments and carry them with us, as life changes all around us.

I try to think about the good things, while fully realizing that life’s challenges will build rather than dissipate, and that the toughest choices lie ahead. The smallest, sweetest moments now mean the most, and I hope they will sustain me. I look to my knowledge of resilience and Radical Acceptance, and try to tap into those skills like never before. Accepting that something is does not mean you agree, just that you deal with what is while trying to cope, improve or at least not worsen a situation or condition. More than  ever before, I see that playing out and actively put it to practice. 

Each of us has a different experience, even as we walk through life side by side. So much time is wasted fighting about who is right when we are being given a false narrative on everything, no matter which channel you watch. We need to appreciate the good things, while also thinking critically about the reality in front of us against what we are told to be true. 

Reason to Believe…

In response to the Daily Prompt, “Reason to Believe“, In Reason to Believe, Bruce Springsteen sings, “At the end of every hard-earned day / people find some reason to believe.” What’s your reason to believe?

Believe… in what, exactly? The prompt is a bit vague. However, I think it is open to interpretation, which is good, and this appears to be a prompt I have not responded to in my year and some months on Word press.

I believe in a lot of things… truth, justice, and the American Way. I believe in freedom, true freedom, and I believe in the right to make your own decisions. I believe that Government is not the answer to everything, they are there to keep some order and to ensure that a minimum level of services are available to the public, and that they should not be dictating everything you do. I believe in the US Constitution and Bill of Rights and that they are the law of the land, and that States are responsible for what is not covered in the Constitution. I believe that states can do different things and that their people can decide what is best for their state based on population, landscape, and other factors. For instance, Texas and Illinois are different states with different needs, to some degree. I believe that the government should not tell parents what they can send to school with their children for lunch, and that wearing a shirt with the American flag on it should not be a punishable offense. I believe in the right to defend and protect myself and my loved ones, by fist, by blade, or by firearm.

I believe that people have to want things to get better in this country. I believe that we need to each educate ourselves about what is really going on in this world, rather than taking what is said on the news or at a debate for face value. I believe0 that winning six coins tosses in a row is about as likely as winning the big Powerball was. I believe in reading books, real books, because you can learn just about anything which a little time and effort. I believe in pulling information from many sources to piece the truth together. I believe that knowledge is power, and that it is better to know than not to know. I believe that we all have a voice to use, whether we speak or write or post, and that our information will resonate with others, though we may not realize it. I believe that someone may offend me but I might still be able to learn from them, and that I may offend someone as well but that they, too, can learn from me.

I believe that sometimes we each have to make tough decisions, with which others don’t agree, but that are in our best interest. I believe that blood is not always thicker than water, especially if that blood (family member) is causing you pain and suffering. I believe in spending time alone or with positive influences, rather than with negative, unhealthy influences. I believe that we all need to time to ourselves regularly to think, rest, recover, and to develop new ideas, and that this doesn’t make use weird, or abnormal, or crazy. I believe that each of us can change for the better, but choose the easier path. I believe that social media, when used wisely, can be a good thing, but can take over your life and can help you forget how to communicate with a living breathing person who is standing in front of you.

I believe in myself, and believe that I only have the power to control me. However, I believe that, by sharing my ideas, I can help others figure out what they believe.

© 2016 blogdaysofchrell

Recovering From The Chaos…

The past few weeks have been… interesting.

First, I had the long-awaited visit from my mother and my aunt, which went well for the most part. My mother and my aunt are the middle and youngest children, respectively, and they are very different in their opinions. Yet, they are both very talkative and competitive of each other, but neither would admit to this. Both women are in their mid-to-late 60’s , overweight, and they love me dearly. I was glad to see my mother and my aunt, but I  was disappointed when my mother became somewhat jealous of me and my aunt talking, as I enjoyed hearing stories about my uncle and eight cousins that I had not previously heard. My mother would interrupt, add to the conversation in ways that didn’t may sense and would throw zingers at both me and my aunt, which Boyfriend witnessed, rather than telling us how she really felt. There were even moments when my mother channeled my father’s impatience, disagreeableness and negativity, which surprised me. Boyfriend and I tried to plan a few things to do and places to go that would allow us all to spend time together, see some sights and eat good food.  The high points, for me, were their appreciate for Boyfriend and for his patience, good nature and how good he is to me, and learning about my family. The low points were two arguments with my mother because she said I was being negative.  To me, sometimes an apple is just an apple, not the most beautiful, tasty red apple ever! All I did was share my account of an event, so I walked away for a few minutes to collect myself, and the second time, when I actually told her how I felt, and she threw a fit in front of the Texas State Capital because I was being real rather than in the clouds. I love both of my parents but I continue to have trouble with the fact that they take it personally if I happen to agree with the other parent on something about which they disagree. Thank God for my aunt, who was not only understanding but able to somewhat mediate and salvage the day. Overall, it was nice to see my mother and my aunt after not being home to see the family for almost two years, and it felt good to share some of my life in Texas with them. My mother and I have talked since, and I think we now having a better understanding of each other.

Next, Boyfriend starts getting calls from relatives about his mother and some problems caused by his older brother. His mother and brother, as mentioned in a previous post, are both narcissists, and are enemies and best friends depending on the day. Boyfriend limits contact with both of them but did talk to his mother for her birthday (in March), Easter and Mother’s Day. The calls from relatives came somewhere in between, and culminated in Boyfriend’s decision to fly home for a few days to see for himself about his mother’s health and the accusations about his brother’s, um, shenanigans. The stories changed a little once Boyfriend started investigating and he found out the truth, which he already suspected. Let’s just say that, due to my dealings with these people over 12 years, I have much respect and admiration for Boyfriend being courageous enough to ask tough questions and stand up for himself in the presence of a women who does not deserve the title of mother due to her blatant favoritism, manipulation and standard  narcissist behavior, and he still put a plan in place for his mother to be cared for and helped. I don’t think I could have done it, but Boyfriend is the strongest person I know.

This has been a lot of stress on both of us. Then, there is work. Boyfriend started a new job about two weeks ago, and they were kind enough to allow him the time to go home. I had several days off recently while preparing for and during my family visit, and I have felt emotionally drained from everything.  While I am grateful to have a job, but it has its own set of challenges. Working as somewhat of a team has it perks and its drawbacks. Sometimes it is nice to have someone there to help with complicated cases but you don’t get to make decisions on your own, and you have to do what the team agrees with. Also, it is tough when each person has a different relationship with the boss, and there is some favoritism from time to time. I realize that I have not handled my stress the best as of late, but it makes things even tougher when you don’t get the same benefit of the doubt or the same information as others do. I know I must do better and work harder, and accept things as they are.

While it has been hard for Boyfriend to be gone due to concerns about how he would be treated by his family, I am glad to hear that he gained support from a few surprising sources. I hope that, in between his chaos, he got a little time to himself that is hard to get living in a 650 square foot apartment with me and the Cat, and I was glad to get a little time to recover from my chaos by talking on the phone to family and watching a few favorite movies, You’ve Got Mail and keeping the Faith. The best recovery for me, though, will be picking Boyfriend up from the airport tonight.

© 2015 blogdaysofchrell