Staying in the moment to enjoy the sunshine, the blue sky, the ease of getting things done without stress, I know that this is temporary. I hold on to the feeling of warmth on my face. I thank God that I feel good and for the beauty surrounding, even if only for a day or two. It makes me think of the Headspace analogy of thoughts being clouds that pass us by, and I make it happen with my own thoughts. It feels good to just be, to take in the day without worry or concern or jumping ahead to the things I think will happen or to the unpleasantries that may be spoken. Time to just breathe and live the day, which is what I am doing.
I always say that I want to write more, good or bad, so I am, as I cultivate ideas and try to hold on to them. I slept good the past few nights, got my back worked on yesterday morning so my tension is gone, and I felt free to hang out with Husband and do a few things we each want to do. He has worked in the garden and organized his music and playlists, while I went to my appointment, ran some errands, did laundry, made a hair appointment, and baked brownies. It between, we laughed, played Name that Tune, ate good food, and planted our very young oak tree in the front yard. All simple things that work for us.
Lurking in the corner of my mind are the holidays and their complications, my family and our differences of lifestyle and opinions, the façade of how good the things at large look (such as the economy, life going back to normal, how free we are or aren’t) and all the ways they will fall apart. Some days I can be conscious of these things and not have it in me to deal, while other days I am so conscious they rock me to the core. On exceptional days, I can be conscious of them and also focus on the now – they are there, but I am here. One of my favorite things was watching bees flutter from dandelion to dandelion to other little flowers on my grass as I picked up rocks and other debris from the tree planting. I could hear the soft buzzing as they communicated to each other and pollinated. We co-existed for a short time, and I felt lucky to be out there and see them.
I often wonder how others can go through their days unfazed with the things of the world that sometimes take over my existence, but it’s been a few days since I had that thought. I am here in the now, at least for now, grateful for the good things and the good feelings. Sometimes it just clicks.