Back to my routine…

I had the opportunity to go to Houston with two of my new co-workers for three days of training recently. This was a big change from the routine I had gotten used to, but the time allowed for me and the co-workers to hang out a little and get to know each other in a relaxed setting.

One of the duties of my new job is to teach/lead different kinds of classes for the juveniles on our caseloads. I taught t a defensive driving class for teens a week and a half ago and then taught the class again this past week. It’s a fun and interactive class but has a lot of moving parts and is four hours long, and I had not conducted something so intense like this before. I will also be teaching other classes fairly regularly to help the juveniles fulfill their court requirements. It is a lot of prep time, but I like the job and the varied duties. I think this is the happiest I have been at any of my jobs.

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Finding a routine outside of work has been a challenge. I get up around 6:30AM to leave between 7:15-7:30AM to arrive at work before 9AM. When traffic is great, which is was during the holiday season, I get to work in 35-45 minutes. When traffic is terrible it takes me an hour to an hour and twenty minutes, but this gives time to listen to podcasts for which I would otherwise not have time.  The return ride in the evening takes 35-40 minutes, not too bad, but then I have to stop for snacks, cash or fill my gas tank before going home to shower, cook Boyfriend some food when he comes in from work, and take care of the poor cat, who has been alone for several hours. I love my three day weekend, however, it is very hard to get things done during the week and actually get more than six hours of sleep. I did finally get a smaller computer that will allow me to, hopefully, blog or work on posts on my lunch break once or twice a week when I am not taking walks for the employee wellness program.

Boo 06-11-15Fridays have been busy the past few weeks due to my cedar/mold allergies that have affected many people in Central Texas. I have been getting acupuncture, which is relaxing and offering some relieve in addition to some natural remedies. I tried traditional allergy medicine and it didn’t work for me.

Please know that I have not forgotten about my blog, I am just trying to get back to my routine or develop a new one that allows to doing everything that I need and want to do. I will be finishing a few old posts and be attempting to make new posts at least twice a week. Bare with me, Word Press Blogosphere!

© 2016 blogdaysofchrell

A change will do you good… and so will a vacation

I gave two-week notice to my employer yesterday, and I finalized the new opportunity I mentioned a few days ago. Yay!!! I am very excited about the new job, which will have similarities to my previous job, but includes a nice pay increase, a four day work-week, and ongoing training. The drawback is that I trade a 25 minute round trip for a 90-120 minute round trip and a job in the city. Overall, I think I made the right decision because I really wanted another chance to work with youth, and this is what I will be doing. I will be using my skills and experiences and building upon them.

Most jobs have ups and down, and my recent job was no different. I was hired two years ago for a new program in an already established department that was expanding in a new direction. My small team brings many strengths to the table, but also VERY different personalities and work styles. This has made for some interesting days and several headaches. We all have unique relationships with the boss and with senior staff in the department. Some people get frequent public pats on the back (though someone else did all the heavy lifting), some take frequent sick days, some do things her way. Don’t get me wrong, there a few people department-wide that I really learned from and with whom I enjoyed working and I wish we could have worked directly more often. All of this factored into my decision because it is not fun going to work dealing with one or two of your co-workers only when you have because they are like a box of chocolates. Ultimatley, the program has shown success and we have helped many people in need, but it still needs some work as far as policies, consistent decision making, standardization of duties, etc. I know we are all doing the best we can… and things take time.

So, despite my grumbles, I handled myself professionally because that will be remembered. I gave a full two-week notice, told the boss before anyone else, and had my resignation letter  in hand. I expressed myself appropriately and respectfully, while somewhat defending myself and a teammate, because this meeting was for my evaluation and became my resignation meeting. I was mostly pleased with my evaluation but it also re-enforced why I am leaving. I feel a bit bad to leave the team short-handed but I think each person would also do what was in their best interest. I am contemplating quietly airing my concerns before I leave so it might help the team run a bit smoother, or at least cut down on some of the tension.  I’m not sure if that will look like I am throwing someone under the bus or if it will bolster thoughts expressed by others based on their experience with specific team members.

The past week and a half  has been a whirlwind and I’m sure the next two weeks will be as well while I wrapped up my duties. The best part for me is the 9 days in between ending and starting my jobs, which allows for a long weekend trip to NYC to visit my brother.   I haven’t seen my brother in a year and a half, and his girlfriend and I will get to know each other better. Boyfriend will enjoy few well-deserved days to rest, relax, and work on a few creative interests while I am gone.  I thank him for suggesting that I need to take a break before such a big transition. When I return, I will still have the six days to rest, relax, spend time with Boyfriend, and get my work clothes ready. I will start my new job and have three-day weekends each week, something new for me. It will be a lot of changes but I welcome them.

During another recent post, I mentioned attending the Transforming Trauma workshop given by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky. Laura talks about having a Plan B for yourself… figuring out would you be doing if you changed jobs/careers. She asks you to consider if what you are doing is working for you, and to think about why you do what you do regularly. These thoughts crossed my mind many times, and they crossed my mind while making my decision. It was very helpful.  Have you switched jobs recently or considered looking for a different job? I guess I’m curious how commute, money, the job entailing work you want to do, and opportunities for professional growth factor into people’s employment decisions. And what gets you to consider getting a different job or changing careers? Is it co-workers or the boss? Un- even treatment/toxic or unsafe environment? Or is the pay and benefits?

I think most people have fleeting thoughts about changing jobs or careers, especially on a bad day, but looking for a job is not fun and can be very time consuming. In the end, the effort is worth it, especially if you find what you are looking for. If you are not happy, please think about what you can do to make yourself happier or healthier in some way.

© 2015 blogdaysofchrell

Forgive and Forget…. I think not.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Forgive and Forget?.”

I think that forgiveness can be healthy and appropriate for healing, but forgetting, not so much. Some actions cannot betaken back, regardless of the words spoken in the aftermath. Extending forgiveness to someone who is TRULY sorry and has taken responsibility for their action s is understandable, and we’ve all done it, just as we have all had to ask for forgiveness, too.  Forgetting is another matter. Sometimes it can be done, sometimes it cannot.  What’s done is done and a memory has been created, good or bad. Forgetting what someone has done can set us up to be hurt or taken advantage of again, just like the old saying…

fool me once
courtesy of quotationslibrary.com

I’ve learned recently in research I have done about narcissism, that it is common to be fooled repeatedly due to the abusive and manipulative nature of the narcissist. Boyfriend got me into reading and learning about narcissism because his mother and brother are both narcissists that have caused him much pain and suffering, even to this day. Thank God we moved to Texas, it’s amazing what  little distance can do. The best thing would be no contact but… easier said than done. I mention these two people because I could not forgive them if God himself ask me to. They are two of the most angry, deceptive, hateful, manipulative, unfeeling, inhuman people I have ever met. If we knew then what we know now, I would like to think that Boyfriend and I would have made different choices with regarding to both of our dealings with them.  Moving on with without certain people is the best thing to do. I would not call it forgiveness but simply moving on. Thank you to Narcissism Survivor on YouTube!!!!! You are teaching us so much.

With regard to my family, I have forgiven a few things, just as have they, but the forgetting is hard. I do try to balance bad memories with good memories because my parents tried their best. I just wish they had made a few choices that would have made us all happier, possibly going their separates ways to be free of drama. I know that I am not perfect and neither are they, and we meet in the middle enough to make things still work. It is easier to see and talk to my parents separately because of their personal differences, and they both feel special.

As for friends, I have tried to forgive and forget and, ultimately, the friendship eventually ended. Relationships can run their course. We contribute something to the other person’s life and they to ours, possibly for reasons unknown. Ultimately, we each have to do what is best for our health and happiness, which can mean leaving some people in our past.

Poster By Flavia Weedn

 

© 2015 blogdaysofchrell

It’s 2015!

Happy New Year! I have recently been reaching out to old friends and going through photographs, as many people do around this time of year. I realize that people get busy and that life happens, sometimes we lose touch for awhile. As I get older, I also realize why I would still welcome contact with some long-lost friends while I am comfortable with some friends staying in the past. We grow, we change or at least we should mature, and we see that some people are not good for us. We moved on for a reason. I hope to stay in contact with good people this year, and to remember why I have moved forward without a few people.  I wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR, with strength, health and happiness!