Letting it all out… and letting it go

I deal with people’s problems in my job everyday. I work with multiple people having personal problems currently, and then there is my life.  Although Boyfriend and I get along great,  each of us has our own stresses. This sometimes piles up on me, making me feel like the shaken-up soda bottle that overflows when you open it.

I have a pretty easy to get along with group of co-workers, just leave controversial issues (especially immigration and related issues) out of the conversation and there will be no problems. However, others do not get along quite the same as I do, which leads to some tense, heated moments.

This happened earlier today. I joked with one of the co-workers a little and she gave it right back, but it opened the door for other’s to make comments and be critical about her part in a group project. This put my friend in an awkward position, causing her to stand up for herself and then snap with the other two women kept pushing her. They didn’t care, but my friend, who has been managing a lot in her life, became tearful. It broke my heart. I left the office to handle business and later ironed things out, but it sadly showed who the other tow people really are. They are interested in getting their way, looking high and mighty, and enjoy putting someone else in their place, even to the point of embarrassment.  After working in my job for over a year, people have started to real show themselves, though not for the better.

I am struggling with family issues, as always, and issues related to my brother’s upcoming wedding. I am happy for him and glad for his happiness, nothing changes that. People live their lives as they see fit, and I understand that. I need to let go of things over which I have no control, and not hold on to bad feelings. I just want to say that most parents do have a favorite child, whether they admit it or not. Despite all of the “I’m so proud of you’s” that I now hear or the “you’re so strong and independent” comments, I am not the favorite but I make a hell of a shoulder to cry on. As I tell my clients, “You only have control over yourself and your actions,” and I need to take my own advice.

I need to keep my friends close, and my eyes on everyone else. I need to breathe, and then let it go…. Easier said than done.

 

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Daily Prompt: Vanish

via Daily Prompt: Vanish

At one time, we were inseparable, you and I. Two tall, brown-haired, brown-eyed girls from the Southwest side of Chicago.

We laughed, we shopped, we partied. If you didn’t call me, I would call you. We caught up almost everyday, laughing, making plans, joking, complaining… You were a high school acquaintance, a friend of a friend, and then it was just us. I knew your mother, your brothers, your little girl, a big part of my world for awhile. Almost like my other family when I needed a break. People expected to see us together, me and you, you and me. friends-2015053155

People came and went in our lives, until…. I met someone, the One. And then you met someone. We tried to keep it going, girlfriends with relationships. We made plans to hang out for awhile… but I’ll have to call you back, something came up. Your man has a thing planned, work got in the way, my man lives too far for you to come out that way… The good old days, fun while they lasted. We were two girls who needed to have fun and a few laughs while we had a few drinks, but we had to grow-up… and ended up growing apart.

I called her about a year or so ago to say hello, what’s new? Pleasantries and catching up until the ex-husband came by with the youngest child after visitation, I’ll try to call you soon!  A year or so before that, she called, then I called, phone tag… then I called again and we chatted for a few minutes.  Friends so close until life happens, and then they vanish. Life changes while we are making other plans, but we never quite forget, do we?

 

Safety First…

In response to the Daily Post, “Safety First”, Share the story of a time you felt unsafe.

I have felt unsafe on many occasions in my life, mostly due to feel mentally and emotionally unsafe in response to the people around me. This caused by being around people that I can’t trust or can’t relax around.

courtesy of clipart/jonata
courtesy of clipart/jonata

I understand that I cannot control others’, nor their actions and expressions, but I can control with whom I allow myself to interact except for while I am at work. I limit contact with people who are erratic, narcissistic, and those who do not value me or Boyfriend. This is one of many reasons I sought out and accepted a new job almost two months ago. I could not trust the people with whom I worked and had to depend upon over the past two years, as workers and as people. You can tell when someone is phony and/or untrustworthy when they smile at you and then stop/start talking to someone else as you leave/enter a room. Or when they only engage you to get information for their benefit, but not for the sake of conversation. You can tell that someone only talked to you and appreciated your “friendship” when you were both in frequently proximity, but you don’t hear from them when you no longer see each other at the office.

courtesy of clipart/doctormo
courtesy of clipart/doctormo

I felt unsafe, rather vulnerable, often as a child and teenager because I was teased and had few friends. The friends I had were also people who were teased or had few friends, and would sometimes leave me for other friends with parents that were more lenient with their rules or bought the newest, coolest gadgets.  I rarely felt physically unsafe but the stress and emotional strain was not easy to deal with for years and years, and I was outnumbered, which I was lucky to not have been physically threatened. As an adult, I try to pull from the lessons these experiences taught me, especially to be myself and to seek out people who are respectful and accepting of me and my uniqueness. You don’t have to agree with me but be open to new ideas. I would rather have a small circle of people I can trust than a large circle of people who I call into question. It’s best to be safe than sorry!