So, I’m about 100 pages into The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. I read The Happiness Project a few years ago and I enjoyed it, but hadn’t thought much about it until saw The Four Tendencies at a FedEx Office store. I picked it up, intrigued, since I have been feeling stuck again lately- wanting to do something different but not wanting a pay cut, missing home but knowing that’s not the best place to be (except on a vacation so I can gorge on Pizza, burritos, beef sandwiches, and my other Chicago food favorites).
I took The Four Tendencies quiz online, which said that I am an Obliger. From what I understand, there is variation within each tendency and a little overlap – you will have a main tendency but may have some of a neighboring tendency, too. The thing that is interesting to me is that I pegged two family members almost immediately but I am still trying to pinpoint a few others.
Psychology stuff is interesting to me, so this book is right up my alley. I am hoping it will help me figure myself out and will help better deal with family and co-workers. I like the book so far and I am trying to pace myself to fully absorb the information, rather that devouring the book as I often do with fiction books that I enjoy. Other books on my radar include: Stuck by Anneli Rufus, The Year of Living Danishly by Helen Russell, and Positively Unstoppable by Diamond Dallas Page. I have been doing DDP Yoga for four and a half months with my husband, and we both really like it and benefit from it. Husband read the book and recommended it. What books do you recommend?
Do you ever wake up and feel like pulling the covers over your head? Just cutting off the alarm like you never heard it, and pretending that work, at least for that day, doesn’t exist. Or you wish to go running through the trees and flowers to a quiet place, so you can sit for a little while and see what thoughts come to mind… That is how I sometimes feel, and today is one of those days.
I love Boyfriend and I am grateful that I got to switch my schedule to be home with him yesterday when he went for oral surgery. I like spending time with him. I also like my job, most of the time, and I like my co-workers. Here comes the buts… I am tired of our small, 650 square foot apartment which has served us and our cat as well as it could for almost three years. I don’t like being the first person people see when they walk into our department’s open-spaced office. I also wish for the days I could do my work in a library or coffee shop on days like this, rather than 10 hours in an old, dark, mostly windowless building, though I am so grateful for my hour lunch during which I am writing this post.
Usually, these feelings are brought on by something. I think, in this case, I am anxious and concerned about the ending of our lease in July, the limited housing market in our area that allows for a nice home and a few acres, and the time I have in a week to help Boyfriend figure this out.
I have to believe that things will work out for the best and in our favor.
I was sitting in a conference room today watching a webinar with several co-workers. We started talking about our jobs and functions of the municipal department for which we work, how or department and agency as a whole affects youth. This led to expression and discussion about our lives having free will or being predetermined based on birth to a family, the socio-economic status attached that family, where you grew up, and other factors.
My feelings were that some factors and choices are out of our control, such as who we are born and where we grew up, but that we have free will to make choices within the parameters that are our lives. I am tied to an organized religion but was raised Roman Catholic, and I believe in God. Some people at the table don’t believe in God, which affects their views, and I whole-heartedly believe that they have a right to their beliefs. Others do believe in God and have various religious beliefs, and thought that lives are predetermined and not governed by free will.
I was glad to know others views and that they shared them with me, even though we didn’t agree. It was all done very civilly by intelligent educated people of different sexes and backgrounds, though I was actually the minority as the only Caucasian at the table. I was able to see their sides of the issue, although I don’t completely agree, and I ultimately cannot be anyone other than who I am living the life I live to the best of my ability. I did not feel animosity for my opinions as I have in the past in other similar situations, and I wanted to know where these people’s thoughts and experiences were drawn from, rather than feeling I needed to retreat from an attack.
I hope to learn more from my fellow co-workers in the future as we continue to work and get to know each other.
Twenty-four days until Christmas, where did the year go?
I have been thinking about small, meaningful gifts for my family and I realize I have to starting working on them tho weekend. My new work schedule will limit what I can do it for a few days but I plan to do several things with photos, which will just take time.
I spent some time yesterday helping my new co-workers decorate our open-space office, which was fun. Boyfriend and I don’t do much decorating in our apartment due to the small space and our very active cat so I enjoyed putting up the Christmas tree and other touchs.
Today was my last day at work. I have been preparing for a week now, getting rid of old papers, neatening up my cubicle, and making sure I have all of my uniforms and other bits and pieces to return. It seems like I have been leaving for quite awhile but it’s really just two weeks since I gave my notice.
I have been wearing “real” clothes for the past three days and mostly staying in the office to finish documentation and make a few notification phone calls. I was blown away by the kind words from clients, some of whom I have worked with for the better part of a year. One in particular called me today to talk one last time… she was my favorite, though you are never supposed to say that. She is a disabled women in her 60’s with a big smile and a warm spirit. She told me that I was a great worker and that people like me move up on move on within her company or get better positions elsewhere, and that employers expect that. Oddly enough, I was contact about the position I recently accepted with another agency but which I applied and interviewed for a few months ago. While I feel a bit sad that she will no longer be my client, I learned from her never give up attitude and feel better knowing that someone I helped is truly happy for me. We touched each others lives, and I will remember her always.
I feel like I am going in the right direction and I am happy to have tied up my loose ends in a professional manner. While I feel that my now former agency could do a few things different, I realize that there are things I could have done differently, too. I could have been a bit more willing to see others point of view, and I could have spoken up regarding issues with direct co-workers. I later found out that a specific person who was repeatedly bossy and rude to me was triangulating people in our program and was feeding information to the boss which made her look good and others, including me bad. This person was, ultimately a bully, and I was happy to gently mention the person (without the name but the boss will be able to figure it out) in an employment exit questionnaire. I feel good about how things were left with me, the management and everyone but the nameless person, who is on leave. I will reach out periodically, partially to keep in touch and partially because you never know when you need a contact, or a reference, or what life will throw your way. I am looking forward to my new job, which I start in a week and a half, and to my mini-break. NYC, here I come!