Back to the routine… queue up the motivation and the green tea

I arrived back in Texas a little over a week ago. The drive back went fairly smoothly, and Boyfriend and I arrived in time to unpack, get a decent night’s sleep, and have a whole day to run errands before going back to the routine. We were both very tired from the driving, the business and stress of everything  while we were gone, the lingering uncertainty of Boyfriend’s family affairs being resolved. I had interviewed for another job prior to our departure and correctly guessed that I was not chosen when I was not notified within two weeks as I was the chosen candidate would be.

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courtesy of

I had time away from work, two whole weeks of it. Although I didn’t focus on the positive in my previous posts, there were some good moments spent with my relatives and with Boyfriend’s relatives at a few get-togethers we attended in between business matters. Overall, though, I did not return refreshed as I would have from pleasure travelling and yet, I used up all and then some of my “vacation time.” Thankfully, Labor Day is less than a month away, as it will be my only extra day off for a while unless I get sick…

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courtesy of

My employer and staff with whom I work directly were accommodating, which was  great, considering I asked for a lot of time off on short notice. My co-workers covered my workload, but there is always more than enough to go around and more than enough waiting for me to return. I have been trying to get back in the swing of things… but I am tired. Mentally, emotionally, physically worn out. The stress of my life is clashing with the stress of my job (conflicting work styles, complex cases, desire for new opportunities) and my only choice is to keep going, really. Yes, I know that I am choosing to get up everyday, choosing to go to work,and choosing to do my job the best I can. The alternative is not do any of it and lose the little I have… NO!!! I have learned that a cup of green tea piggy-backing on my morning coffee helps me focus and that listening to classical music while I do my office work keeps me a little calmer, so I guess this is what I need to do. I know that continuing to look for opportunities is something I need to keep doing, and I need to be grateful for what I have… sometimes that just isn’t enough, though. I found something meeting this criteria and it didn’t work out this time, maybe it will in the future. I am the person usually comforting, motivating, or problem-solving for others, and I could use a little right now myself. Boyfriend does a great job and a friend or two back home commiserate and laugh with me by phone every few weeks. Everyone has their own bag of stuff that they carry around, even me, and sometimes they don’t have room for more.

Photo0033I think it’s time for a new routine. More writing, which slowed in recent weeks. More walking and exercising, which gives me a way to channel feelings. Maybe even a little mindfulness so I can build up my tolerance to life’s daily, umm, challenges. Please feel free to offer suggestions…

© 2015 blogdaysofchrell


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